Are you unsure of your role in life? Do you feel like you don't know the "real you"?
Theorist Erik Erikson coined the term 'identity crisis'. It's a time of intensive analysis and exploration of different ways of looking at oneself. He said the emergence of an identity crisis occurs during the teenage years.
I didn't have typical teenage years, my youngest sister was born the week I graduated from grammar school, both parents worked and had other issues, so my oldest sister and I quickly became caretakers of an infant. I started a full time job at a bank when I was 16 (enrolled in a special school program, I received credit for working). I grew up too fast. I married young and didn't go to college, so I didn't have those wild carefree days away from home. I'm not complaining about that part, I loved my life as a wife and mother.
I think it's time to be a teenager, to explore and have fun. Carefree - no obligations.
Legally - I'm not married, I don't have a husband anymore. The vows did say 'til death do we part, or something like that. When I fill out a form at the dentist, I have to check the box "single". I had to change my emergency contact. I have to file my taxes as a single person. What do I put for my status on Facebook? - I left it blank. In my blog, I often mention "my husband", this may be confusing for some new readers that have not read the entire blog. I read several blogs written by widows, they refer to their husbands by his first initial. I don't feel like I am single, I spent 2/3 of my life with Stump. I don't like the word "widow".
I have created a photo/memorabilia album that I have been working on for a few months, it starts in 1974 and goes to 2009. Photos, dried flowers, ticket stubs, vacation brochures, charms, etc. My whole "past life" fits in one photo album. I can take it with me on my journey.
Time to start a new life, I can't have yesterday - I can only live for TODAY.
It is the sandstorm that shape the stone statues of the Desert. It is the struggles of Life that form a person's character ~ Native American Proverb